Oh Look, Krill!

Oh don't worry. Whales don't eat clownfish, they eat krill.

Wow, has it been a decade since I started working?

This Wednesday will mark my 10th year as a full-time employed person. It only feels like last month when I just got home from uni and lounging around, ignoring my mom’s pointed reference to my unemployment state. Good times, those.

These past decade has been interesting, professionally. Most days, I feel like I’ve not accomplished much since I’ve been working in the same company, sitting at the same office space/lab bench ever since I started. I’ve seen colleagues come and go and I’m still here.

But, when I take a closer look, I’ve actually done a lot more than I realised.

I’ve seen technology changes in the lab, so rapid that I can’t keep up. The same machine, with the same function, only upgraded to the point where it barely looks like the original machine I trained on.

I’ve done so many different projects over the last decade and picked up a lot of skills that only come with on the job training. What they taught me in school was just the tip of the iceberg. School teaches you why and the purpose of those experiments, the job teaches you to refine your skills, to steady your hand at critical moments of the experiment, and to do things often enough that it becomes muscle memory.

I’ve had a boss tell me that she’s never seen a Western blot result as clean as mine. Ever. Pretty good, huh?
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Dear Science

Remember the letter I wrote to you some time last year? I still love you. It’s not you, my love, that I’m having problems with. It’s the environment that we’re in that’s making me sad, depressed and slowly hating you. I don’t feel like I belong here, to be with you.

It’s getting harder for me to bring myself to see you every day. The people around us, even with their best intentions, aren’t helping. In fact, they’re tearing us apart. I love you but I don’t think I can stay here with you anymore.

They’re pushing me to do things I’m not comfortable with. Things that I’ve no experience and yet, expecting the best of results, just because I’ve been here the longest. I’m going to have to make a decision soon, to leave you and start over somewhere new as soon as I can, or stay and die slowly every day.

I hope that I’ll see you again when I leave. 

Loving you always,


In Pursuit of a Dream Job

Dream Job

I’ve not been happy with my current job for the longest time and Dude enrolled me in a course called Dream Job by Ramit Sethi, the same guy who does I Will Teach You To Be Rich. I’ve been looking for a job for almost half the year and I’ve only gotten a handful of interviews. Either the job market is that competitive or I’m doing something wrong.

Anyway, this course hasn’t been easy. It challenges a lot of what you think you know about job application, about finding a job and even what you want in a job. I’m only half way through it and more than once I’ve thought about saying, “Fuck it, I’m just going to give up.” But I can’t (especially when he keeps reminding me how much he paid for the course) be cause I know it’s helping me.

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So, what kind of job are you looking for?

This question has been flung at me when I say that I’m looking for a new job. It’s also the one question that I have trouble answering. That’s because I don’t know what I’m looking for. All I know is that it’s not another research lab, or at least not the kind that I’m working at right now.

What I do know is that I want a job that pays more than this current one, good working environment where I can be happy, good hours, a place where I can grow my career and family-friendly. And preferably science-based, just not research.

I know that it doesn’t really narrow down the job pool but that’s not going to stop me from spamming my resume to every other position that I think I qualify for, and even some that seems interesting that I don’t think I have the qualifications for it.

I’m hoping that I get a call back and a new job soon. I don’t think that I can survive for much longer here. My soul, it is dying slowly.