Sometimes a relationship can leave you scarred and with issues that you’re still unraveling, long after the relationship had ended.
I’d blamed myself a little for the end of the previous relationship until I discovered that it wasn’t my fault. It had never been my fault in the first place. I’d grown up into someone different; very different from the person who entered into that relationship.
I could never be the typical Malay wife/daughter-in-law because I don’t know what that is. My family raised the women to be strong, independent and smart. We’re quick to temper and we can only pretend to be meek for only so long before we start chomping at the bit and our true colours appear.
I would never be happy as a stay at home housewife, puttering around the house and taking care of the kids full-time, and not have a social life.
I was made to feel like I was never good enough for anything and that’s the worse feeling ever.
I was just different, with different interest and a different personality. That difference was apparently not accepted.
But I learned a lot of things since then.
I learned that I don’t have to give in all the time and that my opinions and thoughts matter. I learned not to be a doormat.
I learned that being different isn’t a bad thing. Just because one person doesn’t get it, it doesn’t mean that no one else won’t get it either.
I learned that I am good enough. For someone else, I would be awesome.
Most importantly, I learned that just because one man treats you badly, id doesn’t mean that others will too.
The right man will be ok with you being different. He might not understand it but he’ll acceptit because it’s who you are and it’s what makes you, you. The right man will make you laugh, smile and warms your heart in ways that you ever thought possible.
And I think I might have found him.