Oh Look, Krill!

Oh don't worry. Whales don't eat clownfish, they eat krill.

10 Things I Learnt From Watching New Moon

*WARNING: Here be spoilers. May be snarky and not for real Twilight series fans. Read at own risk. *

1. Papercuts can bleed like a motherf***er.

2. If a loved one/someone you want to get it on with, has a head injury (bleeding from the scalp and may or may not have a concussion), do not take them to the hospital. Just talk and talk and talk and take off your shirt to mop up the blood from their face.

3. If you see said person already having trouble with their bike, just wait for them to skid and watch them get flung from the bike and hit a boulder. Only then do you get on your bike, ride over to them and tend their injury.

4. Edward Cullen is a road safety hazard.

5. Bad guy vampires are way cooler than the Cullens.

6. If you promise someone that you’re never going to leave them and/or hurt them, LEAVE and/or HURT them the very next possible opportunity that comes along.

7. Acceptable clothes for cliff jumping are jeans, a long sleeve shirt under a short sleeve shirt with shoes on.

8. Bella is an idiot.

9. Have I mentioned what an idiot Bella is?

10. New Moon is not a teenage love story but actually the funniest comedy ever! It was the most enjoyable $10 I’ve ever spent. I’ve never had so much fun making fun of a movie in front of the rabid fans before.

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