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What I Don’t Want In My Wedding

Some people have an idea of what they want for their wedding way, waaaaaaay before the actual event. I never had that because as much as I want to get married, I'd rather cross that bridge when it comes because when you have all these ideas of what your 'perfect' wedding should be like, it'll just end up disappointing you when you don't get it.

Having attended more than a few weddings in my adult life, I've come up with a list of what I DON'T want in my wedding, because seriously, there are some things that should never be in a wedding or even, for any function for that matter.

1. No karaoke. At all.
There's nothing that will make me lose my appetite and mood faster than a karaoke. Especially if it's out of tune, screechy and the volume is turned up so high that someone on the other side of the island will wake up from all that screaming. I'm just going to have my iPod filled with great 80s rock and set on shuffle. The aunties who complain can stuff it.

2. No cross dressing dancers.
Not because I have anything against cross dressers, just that all the cross dressing dancers I've seen are really scary looking. The ones I've seen look like they escaped from some horror movie and decided to wear a kebaya and start dancing at a wedding.

3. A guest list of not more than 200 people.
While weddings are a joyous occasion that should be celebrated, I have never understood why we have to invite a thousand people to the wedding. Seriously, do you even know a thousand people?

4. Loud booming speakers right next to the table where the guests are eating.
I've had loud bass beats pounding in my ear when I attended a wedding a few years back. I could barely eat and when I thought that the music stopped, they replaced it with unfunny comedians.

So, what are things that you don't want in your wedding?


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