Oh Look, Krill!

Oh don't worry. Whales don't eat clownfish, they eat krill.

Dear DC Comics,

You suck! Ok, you don’t but do you actually have to make the comic books so addictive? I should have listened to The Significant Other when he said that you’re evil with just one comic book, it’s a slow, slippery slide to addiction. That man knows me so well because now, I’m hooked.

You lured me in with this one, which wasn’t so bad since it was tacky and funny, lulling me into a false sense of security. This is how you do it don’t you, you bastard. You makes us think that your comics are all tacky and funny with not that much of a story line.

Before I knew it, I was purchasing Identity Crisis and Crisis In Infinite Earths in rapid successions. You hooked me from the very first page of Identity Crisis and if I was a man, I would have said that you had me by the balls and the only way to get rid of you will be too painful to bear. You and your dastardly partner, Wikipedia, were like crack dealers; throwing little baggies of white powder little snippets of your other comic books in my direction, drawing me further into your web.

Of course, you knew that by the time I finished with Crisis on Infinite Earths, I would be dying to get my hands on Infinite Crisis but this was when I realised how evil you truly are. You made sure that all those other comic book addicts lovers out there have gotten to the books first before I did, ensuring that I can never get my hands on them easily. Where you trying to test my addiction to you or were you just trying to kill me? Not only that, you had to taunt me with the Infinite Crisis Companion and Kingdom Come, which you knew I had to get.

Now that you have your claws so deep into my soul, you’re just going to sit back and watch me suffer until I get that book. You’re evil but you knew that already. Bastard. I hate you.

No Love,
Me.

Here’s a video of once of my many loves:

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